The Power of Being "Present"
Last week I was in France teaching at an International Executive Education centre, working with a group of executives from over a dozen different countries. My role was to help them improve their ability to manage their important negotiations and relationships, and although the sessions finished off reasonably well, they lacked the same "buzz" that I am typically able to generate with my clients.
During that week I was preoccupied - more than I was aware of - with a few other things that were happening for me business-wise. Although I would not have consciously been able to tell you how preoccupied I was at the time, that was definitely the case. As I said, the work went well in the end, but for more than the first 1/2 of the session, the participants did not have the same level of engagement that I am accustomed to. A colleague had told me when I arrived at the site that this would likely be a challenging group (apparently they were less engaged than usual in some of the other topics with other professors).
I felt there was more to it than that, but wasn't able to pinpoint it. That is, until just the other day. Yes, the group may have been more challenging than others, and maybe less oriented toward participation than others. But, in my case, I think the main problem was that I simply wasn't connecting with them. Said differently, I wasn't fully "present". I was only half there.
This showed up in a few ways: I did not make eye contact as frequently or as widely as I normally would; I didn't have as much passion for my subject as I normally would; I didn't have lunch with the group as I normally would, nor did I share break time with them (the sessions were conducted at an offsite Exec Ed facility). In fact, in some ways I would go so far as to say I didn't have the same level of commitment to making a difference for them as I normally would.
One day this week as I was reflecting of it, it suddenly occurred to me: "OF COURSE!" I said to myself, "I was only half there. No wonder things felt lacklustre compared to usual. I assume that anyone reading this can relate to what I'm saying. Whether you're in a meeting, hanging out with friends & family, on a conference call, or on a date, if you're only half there, the experience won't be that rewarding if you're not really "there". So, I had the benefit of another reminder.
Here's to "being present".